Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Espresso with an 'X'


Back again in the familiar caffe latte territory of my home town after a week of family festivities on the Sunshine Coast. Alas my caffe latte experiences were as bad as my last visit. I did have my stove top espresso machine with me to fall back on but on one occasion when Mum started to wave the International Roast tin in my direction, I decided it was time to make a quick exit in search of a cafe that may be able to make a drinkable caffe latte.

Being only a couple of days after Christmas, there was very little choice as only two cafes were open. I should have seen the warning signs as I saw the sign eXpresso emblazoned on a bright banner outside the first. With courage I made my approach. This latte was much worse than I could have imagined - headless, scorched milk and with coffee dregs descending as it was placed in front of me. It was also presented in one of those wire cage frames that indent the fingers. After my first bitter sip that scorched the lips and left a sour taste, I looked to my latte companion for help. She suggested a quick exit as the only possible solution. We both understood the meaning of the 'X' in espresso as we high-tailed it out of there.

Not to be beaten we approached the only other cafe/grease bar open in town with an espresso machine. I should have asked upon ordering, however, if anyone actually used it, as this latte, presented in a handled glass, was another sad looking creation with a few milky soap suds on top. Taking my first sip, I swear I'd been duped as what lay beneath could only have been a local favourite - International Roast!!

Please note: My mother is not holding an empty mug. She likes to drink her International Roast macchiato style - short with a dash of milk.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Spider Web Latte


Well it's that time again when I must leave behind the comforts of my coffee machine and the reliable caffe lattes served in my two favourite home town cafes (more on this in a future post) to join in the family festivities on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland.

As my dear mother only serves International Roast I am constantly out on the hustings whenever I visit, in search of a decent caffe latte. There are a few espresso machines in a few local cafes but alas my caffe latte experiences have been far from perfect.

It was on one such visit when Mum reached for the International Roast tin that I fled to the new wee Scottish Bake House where, according to sources, they served up a good coffee. It was here that I was presented with my first Spider Web Latte. Yes, difficult to imagine but my latte came with a carefully embroidered, sickly sweet chocolate web covering the surface. Now this may have been some creative project for the Scottish baker but it sure ruined the taste of the coffee. On my next visit, trying not to offend, I asked if they could, "hold the web" on my next latte.

The creation of the spider web on the caffe lattes was obviously very labour intensive and turnover was slow. Alas the wee Scottish Bakehouse is no more!

I have not decided whether to take up the challenge and see what new cafe has emerged for me to try (cafes come and go with the blink of an eye here)or whether to concede defeat and take my own coffee machine. I will report back in my next post. For now happy festivities and lots of great coffee!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Borneo Coffee

I took a trip to Borneo recently to see the magnificent orangutans as they cling desperately to the last remnant of forest not yet bulldozed for palm oil plantations. As is the case whenever I land in a new town or country, my search begins for a caffe latte, made with espresso not nescafe! Staying in Kota Kinabalu the only option was the Coffee Bean chain. The coffee had that bland taste, lacking in any richness or depth. Their lattes came served in a tall glass with a tall plastic stirrer. It looked more like a cocktail than a coffee. I named this the Swizzle Stick Latte. I tried asking for a double shot but this didn't improve the flavour.

When I left the city area and headed off into the mountains and over to Sandakan to see the orangutans, I gave up on the search for a caffe latte and decided, especially as there was only that foul tasting long-life milk, to do as the locals do and partake in the strong,black Borneo coffee. I found this coffee quite palatable but the 3 cups a day I was consuming did start to give me heart palpatations so I was forced to cut back.


I did come across this amazing petrol driven coffee grinder at a market in Kota Kinabalu. It was noisy but it seemed to do the trick!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Bargain Basement Latte


This is the name I give to the caffe latte sometimes forced upon us through desperation when we find ourselves trapped in one of those souless, all under one roof, shopping plazas.

I remember this latte experience well in a shopping centre in Melbourne's north. Hanging out for my morning latte and nowhere else to turn, I ventured into the only cafe I could find that had an espresso machine. The cafe itself, with grease bar and square vinyl chairs, offered little respite and was devoid of any ambience.

The caffe latte was both cheap in price and presentation. It came served with a plastic spoon and paper sugar sachets thrown onto the saucer, giving it a very down-market effect. The Bargain Basement Latte lacks style. Only recommended for those desperate for a coffee hit and with nowhere else to go.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Parfait Latte


Let me share with you another gross distortion of the caffe latte which I'm sure many of you have also experienced when forced to order your latte in unfamiliar territory. I name this the Parfait Latte. Here's a sketch I made in my caffe latte notebook.

This latte comes served to you in a tall glass accompanied by a matching tall spoon. This sits perched awkwardly on a paper doily covered saucer. The coffee is invariably weak and insipid. It is definitely only for those who prefer a weaker and longer style latte and a handle on their glass.

Before ordering my lattes I now make sure I check the size and shape of the glass in which it will be served. A stack of parfait glasses on top of the coffee machine is always a worrying sign.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Perfect Latte?

I have been asked to describe my idea of the perfect latte. My definition of the perfect latte brings together many elements. First it must be served in an atmospheric cafe with a good vibe. You are surrounded by like-minded appreciators of great coffee.The base is a good shot of quality, rich espresso coffee. It is served in a latte glass, no bigger than 8oz. None of these glasses with handles or stems are acceptable as they ruin the whole effect.

The latte is prepared by an experienced barista who understands coffee. The milk added to the latte is smooth and creamy, with no more than a cm of foam on top. The temperature allows you to hold the glass with comfort without scorching finger tips.

Perfect caffe lattes do not require paper serviettes or other outer casings. These are merely disguises for overheated and badly made lattes. The overall latte experience should be completely satisfying and bring together the elements of taste, surrounds and presentation. I call this the Definitive or Bliss Out Latte.

Monday, December 7, 2009

marshmallow latte


I must now share with you another strange variation of the caffe latte, experienced at a cafe on a recent trip to Brisbane. I call this the Marshmallow latte.

It was served in a larger than average glass and sitting on top was a mountainous ball of foam that rose like a giant white marshmallow over the rim of the glass. Sitting in the middle of this white mass was a mysterious brown nipple-like spot where it would appear extra coffee was poured later through the centre of the white foam mound.

My first sip came as a shock as due to the protrusion of the foam over the top of the glass, it had become cold and unpalatable. The scorching coffee that made its way through this thick white mass was watery and weak. A truly forgettable latte experience!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

What's a caffe latte?


Yes, I was, to my astonishment, asked this question recently at the poolside cafe at an up market resort where I was staying in Northern NSW. Over the many years I have been a caffe latte drinker, I have had countless weird and not so wonderful latte experiences. I find myself on a constant quest in search of the perfect latte. I decided years ago to begin recording and illustrating some of the many horrendous caffe lattes I have been served in various cafes. I actually put these together in a self-published gift book entitled Caffe Latte: The Highs and Lows of a Connoissuer's Experiences. You can purchase this book on ebay.
http://www.ebay.com.au/
As my quest continues I will share with you my various latte experiences along the way.

Dear reader, I invite you to share with me any of your own unusual latte experiences. Please leave a comment. I will be posting descriptions and illustrations of my unusual caffe latte experiences regularly so watch this blog!

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