Coffee Odyssey

Well latte lovers, I am back on the caffeine airwaves having just returned from a few months abroad in the caffe latte wasteland of the Greek Isles. I have done my fair share of latte tastings whilst spending a month on the gorgeous Greek Isle of Ithaca. Believe me, I understand the lure of this picturesque place which led Homer on his epic sojourn, but if it's a decent latte you're after you'd better jump ship and cross the Adriatic to Italia and the home of Lavazza. My Greek Island coffee experiences largely involved bitter espresso topped with long-life milk. Some cafes did make an effort to whip up a decent latte with smoothly creamed milk but the flavour was always hot bitter espresso with that long-life after taste. The latte pictured here was served in a large cup. Don't be fooled by its smooth appearance. This latte was 90 % long-life milk and 10% bitter espresso.

If it's a good coffee you're after while visiting Greece, you will need to head back to Athens to the Cafe Zonars just off Syntagma Square in upmarket Kolanaki...More on this experience in a future blog.

Watering-Can Latte

It's been a while but I was recently confronted again with this curious caffe latte receptacle at a local Northern Rivers pub that serves good food and reasonable espresso coffee. The latte itself was smooth made with a reliable, if a little weak in this instance, Vittoria coffee. Unfortunately it came served in one of those awkward metal outer-casings with the bent and very springy twin wire handle. Immediately upon lifting this latte to one's lips, it tilts forward as a vessel designed for watering or pouring. The metal handle also digs into the forefinger leaving deep tram-track indentations. No need for these awkward latte holders which detract from the whole caffe latte experience whilst leaving deep cavities in the fingers. The illustration and description given here are taken from my funny gift book which features, among other weird lattes, what I call the Watering-Can Latte. This receptacle should be relegated to the garden shed. If the latte is made at the correct temperature, there is no need for these unsightly and ungainly encumbrances. Please keep the latte glass unadorned!

Coffee Rocks!

Taking a Sunday morning hike along the glorious coastline of the Yuragir National Park near Yamba in Northern NSW, I began to notice a thick, rich espresso like fluid that seeped from underground springs and then flowed magically over smooth rock. The result was a coastline of divine coffee-coloured rock. A sign in the park then informed me that, not surprisingly, the name given to this espresso coloured rock is "Coffee Rock".
Like most ventures into nature, this leisurely hike was not without its dramas. Our peaceful amble along the walking track was suddenly interrupted by what sounded like the terrifying pounding of approaching hooves. In a cloud of dust we came face to face with two huge, startled kangaroos.

Needless to say by the time we got back to civilisation after a morning immersed in natural images of swirling espresso and close encounters with kangaroos I was ready for a soothing caffe latte. I spied a Segafredo sign in the main street and thought I'd see if the locals could do better than my disastrous German Segafredo experience.
The caffe latte that was served up looked respectable enough although it was served in an unusual glass that tapered in at the base. The espresso itself was bitter and the latte overall lacked that rich flavour I was yearning for and was no match for the natural espresso I'd seen oozing from the tantalising Coffee Rocks.

Ambient Angourie??

"Peace and Harmony". Well having read all the marketing material on the website of this Yamba Eco-resort, tucked away in a peaceful rainforest on the outskirts of town, I was expecting a quiet weekend retreat. Feeling in need of rest, peace and pampering I was so looking forward to this weekend away. Unfortunately I wasn't informed upon booking that I would be sharing the weekend with two wedding parties!! Having been kept awake by raucous,drunken bridal parties half the night, I approached my morning caffe latte in no mood for further anguish. Fortunately my spirits were lifted by a strong Botero espresso served in a 220 ml latte glass and not the parfait variety. The milk was the right temperature and of a reasonably smooth texture. So all was not lost. But be warned if you are planning a peaceful stay at this rainforest resort, check first that you will not be subject to the stress of late night noisy nuptial celebrations.

marshmallows and macchiatos in Mainz

I saw the culprit at breakfast this morning at my hotel in Mainz - the long life milk carton sitting next to the instant coffee jar. This would explain the strange taste of the lattes I have endured. I have arrived in Mainz after a most enjoyable boat cruise along the Rhine River from Koblenz. After my bad coffee experience at breakfast I was well and truly ready for a shot of espresso so I hit the pavements. I wandered down to the picturesque old town of Mainz and came upon it - a Lavazza coffee sign over a small espresso bar. In I went and perched up on a stool and perused the coffee selections. There it was again. It was either a small macchiato or yes, a macchiato latte. Ha! I wasn't going to be fooled this time.
I ordered the small variety and thought well at least I will get a shot of Lavazza espresso. The macchiato came in a cute Lavazza glass and was just what I needed, if a little bitter. Dogs are everywhere in Germany and here was no exception. There were two giant Golden Retrievers spread out and snoozing taking up much of the floor space!
Being in no hurry I did some further surveillance and noted that the latte glasses on top of the coffee machine were not as huge as those I'd encountered so yes dear reader, I was drawn again to try the macchiato latte!
The picture says it all. This was another example of the Marshmallow Latte. I note the coffee is always poured from a metal jug and added to the milk and the result...A mountainous eruption of foaming milk over the top of the glass that clings to the nose and upper lip and a small layer of bitter espresso beneath. Well I am beaten. The macchiato latte had seduced me yet again and I was the one who came off second best. Never Again!
I fly back to Australia tomorrow. Needless to say, a decent caffe latte will be high on my list of priorities!

Miljoo Meringue

Well not to be beaten I made my way to the next cafe on my list in Koblenz - the delightful Cafe Miljoo, located in a quaint narrow street in the old part of town with cobbled walkways, church bells and old street lamps. The cafe itself has a great vibe with appealing decor, wooden tables and friendly, cheerful waitresses. It also has a great selection of healthy vegetarian foods - a welcome change from bread and cheese! The helpful waitress assisted me with my coffee selection advising that unless I wanted to risk getting a nescafe, I needed to order, yes dear reader, the "macchiato latte"!!
I decided that maybe given the alternative vibe of this cafe that it might be worth the risk, maybe they will do things differently. Alas my optimism soon turned to high anxiety as I saw the approach of my latte. It was the biggest receptacle I'd seen yet. Two hands needed to lift this one. An insipid glass of lightly coffee tinted milk. The milk had been so fiercely whipped that it had developed little soap sud peaks on top and looked more like beaten meringue than the smooth, creamy, coffee streaked surface I have been yearning for. The macchiato latte had struck again!

Kaffee in Koblenz

The macchiato latte just won't leave me alone. I can't seem to escape it. It has heard all the disparaging comments I have made and is seeking revenge. I arrived in Koblenz, a picturesque town where the Rhine meets the Moselle River. This time I had done my research and had narrowed my caffe latte search down to two reputable establishments. So with notes and maps in hand I ventured into the old town and began my search. The first I came upon was the bewitching old coffee house Kaffeewirtschaft, established in 1911. Now I thought somewhere that has been turning out coffee for a century should know how to make a decent caffe latte.
I sat down under the enticing, stone arches and with some hope placed my order, "Caffe Latte bitte?". But then, to my horror, the waitress nodded, "Yes, a macchiato latte". And there it came the huge glass of steaming milk with a tinge of brown clinging to the sides. I instantly ordered another espresso which gave it a bit more colour. Even so the coffee was bitter and dreggy and the milk was like off-tasting soap suds. I wondered what my next caffe latte experience would be like if this is what a century old Kaffee (coffee) institution was turning out. Will I ever be free of the menace of the macchiato latte?!

Coffee Classico!

Sitting up to my morning caffe latte at the Hotel Classico where I have been staying in Bremen, Germany. This morning I am in rapture having been to Maria Farantouri's concert at St Stephani Church. It was a stupendous event and well worth crossing the seas to be there. She sang a host of Theodorakis classics and other moving ballads. She was in fine form and received standing ovations from a packed house. She is a true Greek Diva. I even got to meet her after the show. Sublime!

Coincidentally the Hotel Classico where I am staying in Bremen is owned by a Greek man who has decorated the rooms and restaurant, where I am having my morning latte, in Greek themes. My room is the Saloniki room and is adorned with photos from the owner's beloved homeland. The restaurant has an up-market Greek kitsch feel with Greek columns and large gold framed mirrors and classical Greek wall murals. So I am having a very Greek-German cross-cultural experience!

And the latte...well that sort of fits in as well. As you can see from the image, it is certainly as tall as a Greek pillar and its multi-layers are also reminiscent of the stone segments of the pillars of the ancient Greek temples. I've learned that if you give this creation a stir, you can then taste the espresso which is reasonably palatable and certainly beats the macchiato latte.

So my stay here in Bremen has had the perfect blend. Greek music, Greek Divas and the Greek Pillar Latte at the Hotel Classico!

Parfait Latte

Let me share with you another gross distortion of the caffe latte which I'm sure many of you have also experienced when forced to order your latte in unfamiliar territory. I name this the Parfait Latte. Here's a sketch I made in my caffe latte notebook.

This latte comes served to you in a tall glass accompanied by a matching tall spoon. This sits perched awkwardly on a paper doily covered saucer. The coffee is invariably weak and insipid. It is definitely only for those who prefer a weaker and longer style latte and a handle on their glass.

Before ordering my lattes I now make sure I check the size and shape of the glass in which it will be served. A stack of parfait glasses on top of the coffee machine is always a worrying sign.

The Perfect Latte?

I have been asked to describe my idea of the perfect latte. My definition of the perfect latte brings together many elements. First it must be served in an atmospheric cafe with a good vibe. You are surrounded by like-minded appreciators of great coffee.The base is a good shot of quality, rich espresso coffee. It is served in a latte glass, no bigger than 8oz. None of these glasses with handles or stems are acceptable as they ruin the whole effect.

The latte is prepared by an experienced barista who understands coffee. The milk added to the latte is smooth and creamy, with no more than a cm of foam on top. The temperature allows you to hold the glass with comfort without scorching finger tips.

Perfect caffe lattes do not require paper serviettes or other outer casings. These are merely disguises for overheated and badly made lattes. The overall latte experience should be completely satisfying and bring together the elements of taste, surrounds and presentation. I call this the Definitive or Bliss Out Latte.

marshmallow latte

I must now share with you another strange variation of the caffe latte, experienced at a cafe on a recent trip to Brisbane. I call this the Marshmallow latte.

It was served in a larger than average glass and sitting on top was a mountainous ball of foam that rose like a giant white marshmallow over the rim of the glass. Sitting in the middle of this white mass was a mysterious brown nipple-like spot where it would appear extra coffee was poured later through the centre of the white foam mound.

My first sip came as a shock as due to the protrusion of the foam over the top of the glass, it had become cold and unpalatable. The scorching coffee that made its way through this thick white mass was watery and weak. A truly forgettable latte experience!

What's a caffe latte?

Yes, I was, to my astonishment, asked this question recently at the poolside cafe at an up market resort where I was staying in Northern NSW. Over the many years I have been a caffe latte drinker, I have had countless weird and not so wonderful latte experiences. I find myself on a constant quest in search of the perfect latte. I decided years ago to begin recording and illustrating some of the many horrendous caffe lattes I have been served in various cafes. I actually put these together in a self-published gift book entitled Caffe Latte: The Highs and Lows of a Connoissuer's Experiences. You can purchase this book on ebay.
http://www.ebay.com.au/
As my quest continues I will share with you my various latte experiences along the way.

Dear reader, I invite you to share with me any of your own unusual latte experiences. Please leave a comment. I will be posting descriptions and illustrations of my unusual caffe latte experiences regularly so watch this blog!

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